Simultaneous Contradictions

Quite the inspirational picture...

It's too late to change my mind now. I'm already too far ahead in my Nano novel to change stories now.

But I'm starting to doubt myself once again.

Not because I don't like the story I'm writing now, but because I don't feel like my heart is in it. In all honesty, I haven't reached the one story that makes me go, "That is the one."

Or, if I have, I haven't acknowledged it yet.

Whatever the case, I'm torn. Torn between my roots in fantasy and heroic quests and magical swords and whatever else may tickle my fancy, and my urge to create a compelling and unique psychological novel that can reach the level of Donnie Darko (hopefully without the cult-like side effects).

I write my fantasy ideas, but I worry about cliches typical to fantasy-based novels. I write my psychological idea, but I worry about whether it's too confusing or not getting the point across. Eventually, I find myself wondering (I do that quite often) if I'm even fit to be a true writer at all.

I have ideas for both, and both chill me to the bone when I think about them, and where I want to to take the stories as they develop. But in order to develop ideas, you have to write them. A contradiction, one might say. And a mighty fine big one, at that.

"Break away from everybody. Break away from everything. If you can't stand the way this place is, take yourself to higher places." - My motto for this month (brownie points if you understand the reference).